STAR TREK: PICARD (ALL SEASONS) -OR- CHATEAU PICARD: SMELLS OF ASS AND TOE-JAM, WITH RASPBERRY NOTES *AKA* 2 seasons of the most horrid...

THE JOHN WICK SERIES -or- HOW TO TURN ONE NOTE INTO A MELODY *AKA* Better than it should be, yet not as good as many think.

65 -or- AFTER EARTH 2: MAYBE ADAM DRIVER WILL MAKE THIS BETTER? *AKA* I am certain at this point that most of Hollywood is run by...

DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES -or- GULAGS AND MONITOR LIZARDS: THE THOR RAGNAROK EDITION *AKA* At least it's better than...

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA -or- BUG-BOY'S TINYTOWN ADVENTURE *AKA* A boring 2hr5m commercial for other movies.

THE MENU -or- BURNT TOAST: THE DARK SIDE OF FOOD *AKA* A wickedly funny, and pointed horror take on fine dining.

GLASS ONION: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY -or- NO ONION, NO CRY: ANOTHER SOLID "CLUE" SEND-UP *AKA* An almost TOO cute little mystery.

AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER -or- BLUE MAN POOP *AKA* Here we go again... again.

WILLOW (2022 Series) -or- WILL-NO! *AKA* The CW presents: The Dollar tree fantasy spectacular.

NOPE -or- MAYBE... by visionary director Jordan Peele *AKA* A curious, occasionally surprising, oddity.

BLACK ADAM -or- SUPER JOHNSON *AKA* Witness the white label version of a superhero movie! Huzzah! Excelsior... wait that's Marvel.

SMILE -or- FROWN: This movie blows wildebeest *AKA* Maybe stretching an 11 min short film into 2 hours of lame jump-scares and B.S. isn't...

WAKANDA FOREVER -or- BLACK PANTHER 2: ELECTRIC BOOHOOHOO AKABlak-Tech v Moist-Mex: The maudlin AF cut.

THE RINGS OF POWER -or- GREAT VALUE™ TOLKIEN *AKA* Even Netflix's MCU-style pitch to the Tolkien estate doesn't make this billion dollar...

WEREWOLF BY NIGHT -or- Werewolf, alright! (Cough) *AKA* Good mouthwash for Hellraiser.

HELLRAISER -or- PINHEAD FOR PINHEADS *AKA* This configuration was lamentable.

PREY -or- BEAUTY V THE BEAST *AKA* The first good Predator movie, after a list of rancid turdinations, since 1987.

THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER -or- GORR: DESERVED A BETTER MOVIE *AKA* Taika's tepid tumescent tale.

FIRESTARTER or NONSTARTER *AKA* If "your own thing" is worse than the original, don't do "your own thing".

A review of Annihilation or The colour out of the crack of someone's ass.