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  • Writer's pictureNick C. Goins Jr.

The Pissed Take - Dune: Part Two

DUNE PT. 2 -or- BIG MOVIE PT. 2: MOR BIGGER AKA Don't let Denis F#ck up any more Dune books. Let him strip-mine Battlefield Earth.


Release Date 01Mar2024


"Here we go again. Again."


Dune Pt. 2 is the second half of DENIS VILLENUEVE's feature film adaption of DUNE by FRANK HERBERT, published in1965.


For the uninitiated, "DUNE" is about a far flung future where everything is owned by rich families, those families routinely screw each other over, everybody is on drugs (some of which can make certain freakshows bend space-time with their minds), and sneaky ninja witches who surreptitiously mix people juices together so they can make a demigod (that they control) with the mind of a supercomputer and perfect prescience. Also, the environment…


Herbert's book, even with the FEW elements that did not age well, still stands as one of the greatest Sci-Fi novels EVER. It certainly is my favorite, I've read it at least once every year for the past few decades.


Dune and it's sequels (the less said about his slow-pony son Brian and K.J. Anderson's shite, the better) are about the dangers of heroes, saviors, and charismatic leaders; People whose tendency to smell a bit too much of their musk, trumps even the greatest reason. Also about ecology, economy, class warfare, and other jazz.


Was there a picture book that came out somewhere between '65 and '84? Because that was the book Denis V saw. GONE is virtually all of the subtext that made FH's story a story.

What you get is a movie in love with it's own bigness. A platform for an ego, and the need for an audience to sell units.


Shame.


THE GOOD:

This movie is good looking, that's for sure... most of the time. As much an IMAX vehicle as expression, the technical presentation IS the show here. The opening of the battle of Arrakeen is the standout.


THE BAD:

This movie is good LOOKING. There is zero emotional connection to any of the characters. There is little to no subtextual info. The characters and subtext ARE the story in Dune. They are what the whole damn thing is about. GONE. What you're left with is a candy shell with a dry bean in it. Why is Christopher Walken in this movie? WHERE THE F#CK IS ALIA!? Paul goes from mumblecore to screamo in no time. Stilgar spreads cheeks for Paul immediately. BLACK SUN? Kiss my ass. Where is Thufir? LETO II (the 1st one) Where the arse is the guild? Water of Life or Kool-Aid of life? Doesn't matter. Hasimir? These are a few of the IMPORTANT! things that aren't there, just to further misunderstand the story. Miss me with that translation excuse. DV skimmed the book - at best.


In the land of low expectations, even turds are E P I C.


One gets the sense that DV just JJ'd all over Dune. (Gestures dramatically at the wrecks of Star Wars and Star Trek)


SEE IT!

Boredom? Curiosity? Fan of Dune even when it sucks donkey? cAuse U LUv moobies!!!$;# CHECK!


DON'T SEE IT!

If you respect story and storytellers. If you're sick of sacrificing those things for cheap spectacle, the imbecilic notion that cinema is only pictures and sound (F#ck dialogue!), and the degradation of a proud art form into a f#cking overpriced amusement ride.



2 figures standing on top of a sandworm. The background is orange and ornithopters can be seen. This is the movie poster.
Dune 2 Poster

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