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The Pissed Take - Captain America: Brave New World
CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD -or- CAP'N CRUNCH: MARVEL NEEDS A BRAND NEW SHITCK AKA 180 million bucks of background noise.

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Mar 192 min read
2 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Nosferatu (2024)
NOSFERATU -or- THE BITE-MAN COMETH... FOR YO GURL! AKA Almost there…

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Jan 63 min read
1 view
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Gladiator II
GLADIATOR II -or- FIGHT MAYNE: ONE MO' TIME
AKA "There once was a dream that was Rome... it was OK, I guess. Maybe not."

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Nov 28, 20242 min read
7 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Megalopolis
MEGALOPOLIS -or- APHRONOPOLIS AKA Francis Ford Coppola's Batshit Bullshit Bacchanalia - A F#uckery

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Oct 31, 20243 min read
1 view
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE -or- BOOTYJUICE BOOTYJUICE AKA "Timmy, put the camera down. It's time for bed."

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Oct 31, 20242 min read
0 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Alien: Romulus
ALIEN: ROMULUS -or- ALIEN: MODICUS AKA A perfectly serviceable movie

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Sep 4, 20243 min read
3 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Deadpool & Wolverine
DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE -or- RYAN AND HUGH'S VIOLENT PLAY-DATE AKA A totally enjoyable, cartoonishly violent, popcorn buttered nothing...

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Sep 4, 20242 min read
2 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - The Acolyte
THE ACOLYTE -or- THE COPROPHYTE AKA I'll take "How to smell your own farts" for 180 million, Alex.

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Jul 29, 20242 min read
1 view
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Furiosa
FURIOSA: A MAD MAX SAGA -or- PONDEROSA: THIS STEAK IS... NOT GOOD. AKA Another LONG, pretty nothing.

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Jun 17, 20243 min read
1 view
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Rebel Moon Pt 2: The Scargiver
REBEL MOON PT.2: THE SCARGIVER -or- SUBPAR WARS PT.2: THE TURDGIVER AKA ...WHY? Just, why?

Nick C. Goins Jr.
May 15, 20241 min read
2 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Fallout
FALLOUT -or- FALLOUT WITH YOUR BALL OUT AKA Now, fix Rings of Power.

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Apr 16, 20242 min read
0 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
GHOSTBUSTERS: FROZEN EMPIRE -or- DUSTBUSTERS: A MORE EXCITING MOVIE AKA An unfunny, unfocused, freeze-dried turdlet of a flick.

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Apr 1, 20243 min read
5 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Dune: Part Two
DUNE PT. 2 -or- BIG MOVIE PT. 2: MOR BIGGER AKA Don't let Denis F#ck up any more Dune books. Let him strip-mine Battlefield Earth.

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Apr 1, 20243 min read
7 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Madame Web
MADAME WEB -or- MADAME, THOU DOTH SEEITH THIS MOVIE IS SHITE, METHINKS AKA Sony is trolling us, right?

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Mar 5, 20242 min read
9 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Rebel Moon Pt. 1: A Child Of Fire
REBEL MOON - PT. 1: A CHILD OF FIRE -or- SUBPAR WARS: A TIRED HOPE AKA How much of that 166 mil went to mountains of flake?

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Jan 2, 20242 min read
7 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - The Last Voyage of the Demeter
THE LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER -or- ROGUE ONE: THE DRACULA EDITION *AKA* Almost but not quite. This flick sacrifices sense for more teeth.

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Aug 17, 20233 min read
3 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY -or- THE OVERLONG GERITOL COMMERCIAL *AKA* Disney: Now that we got those old bastards out of the way..

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Jul 5, 20233 min read
5 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - The Flash (2023)
THE FLASH -or- FLASH IN THE PANTS: NO WAY HOME *AKA* Flashpoint... Kinda.

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Jun 30, 20232 min read
2 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Evil Dead Rise
EVIL DEAD RISE or NATUROM DUMB-MONTO *AKA* Another pretty, dumb thing…

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Jun 30, 20232 min read
2 views
0 comments


The Pissed Take - Renfield
RENFIELD -or- DRACULA'S BEE'YOTCH: AIDE DU CAMP DES DAMNÉS *AKA* A bloody okay PSA

Nick C. Goins Jr.
Jun 6, 20232 min read
1 view
0 comments
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