The Pissed Take - The Mandalorian and Grogu

THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU -or- BUCKET-MAN AND PUPPET AKA The most boring 2+ hours of television in a theater

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Release Date 22May2026

MANDALORIAN AND GROGU is the latest in Disney's perpetual raw-dog of the STAR WARS MULTIMEDIA PROPERTY. It is the 12th feature film in the franchise, and the flabby-arsed replacement for the 4th season of the streaming series THE MANDALORIAN. The series, inspired by GUNSMOKE, THE MAN WITH NO NAME TRILOGY, and LONE WOLF AND CUB - with a bit of THE VIRGINIAN thrown in, follows the adventures of Mandalorian DIN DJARIN and eventually Jedi padawan GROGU as they attempt to evade capture by the Imperial remnant 5 years after RETURN OF THE JEDI. At its best it's a tight focused story of a man trying to be a father and a bounty hunter. At its worst it is desperately trying to understand its surprise success and tie into any other desperate and inept exploitation of the franchise.

NO SPOILERS!

Bucket-man and puppet are working for the new republic (because certain someone's responsible for writing this dry fart forgot that this whole thing was supposed to be on the low). After finding a dude, SIGOURNEY WEAVER sends them to find another dude and then... the f#ckery. Now with extra Filoni!

Yet another failure for Disney's ongoing miscalculation with the Star Wars property. Frankly, any further review will be strictly observe and report - I don't care about it anymore. This is a real shame as the first 3 made the biggest impression on my young mind about the power of imagination and ingenuity in movies. This is what happens when the machine becomes the industry. When the BIG film becomes the rule, not the exception. When safety is the noose strangling invention.

This movie pissed me off. Not because it was bad (It is), not because it was boring (Balls, it is!), but because ANYONE could see that it is a massive waste of time. It is CLEARLY a two-parter cut to feature length, and suffers for the transition. With a television series, a less than spectacular opening with a little intrigue sprinkled in could be forgivable with a season built around it. In the cinema where you have less time to say what needs saying, you're left with the same feeling you get when your pet takes a surprise 5-alarm Hormel chili dump and you're both perplexed and disappointed. This MF'n movie right here.

THE GOOD:

...The nachos didn't give me the sharts? MAYBE the DJARICK fight scene, but that's really pushing it.

THE BAD:

The ENTIRE MOVIE is a flat, muddy, muddled mess. It has this horrible dullness to it that is pervasive. The story is uninteresting and would be considered both boring for an episode and evidence that DAVE FILONI needs to stop wanking all over everything. God forbid we see yet another CLONE WARS character... F#ck off, Filoni! (Total merchandising opportunity). Everyone looks and sounds TIRED. The score was a distraction. The action editorial was a complete mess, as was the choreography. No stakes, no threat, no reason to show up.

SEE IT:

No, don't encourage them! STREAM HO! Only if you must.

DON'T SEE IT:

GOOD... GOOOD! Let the judiciousness flow through you!