The Pissed Take - Resident Evil (2026)

RESIDENT EVIL -or- RETURN OF THE LIVING POPCORN AKA FINALLY, one that knows what it is!

Release Date 18Sep2026

I liked this one.

In a multiplex crowded with movies that either shouldn't be there or are attempting to convince us that they should with surface-level spectacle and/or pathos, THIS MF right here has the gall to (Gasps) know what the f#ck it is and lean into it.

Willikers.

RESIDENT EVIL (2026), directed by ZACH CREGGER (also co-writer) and co-written by SHAY HATTEN, is based on the 1996 Capcom video game Resident Evil, aka BIOHAZARD, created by SHINJI MIKAMI and TOKURO FUJIWARA. A long-running game series, it has roughly 30 games. THIS movie is the 12th adaptation of the games to film: 8 live action (including the rubber-turd-dumb W.S. ANDERSON movies) and 4 animated. R.E. is one of the most successful horror franchises across any media.

This movie, an original story not based on any specific game, is the best-reviewed of them and had the biggest opening in the franchise's history.

Ya momma said: NO SPOILERS!

Bryan is a medical courier. He delivers gibblets and juices in syringes to hospitals for money. Bryan has to get home to his be-babied girlfriend Michelle before the snow, which sucks, begins to suck more. However, he is offered a special bag of gibblets (or... something) to deliver to a town in the mountains for even more money. He then decides to toddle off to RACCOON CITY... where the F#CKERY be.

This movie was very goofy and very fun. Goofy and fun, exactly the way the games have been. This endeared it to me. It wasn't trying to be winky at me, nor was it trying to be some self-serious, message-y bullsh#t made by someone wishing they were doing anything else.

 NOTE TO INDIE FILMMAKERS: Horror audiences KNOW when your ass would rather be making your cute little coming-of-age drama about people whose experiences you didn't share or understand, amounting to voyeurism of things you'll never actually do anything about save for exploiting them for a feature. They know you want a quick cash-in on a genre (and audience) you don't respect but that has been holding up this industry nearly from the beginning.

Damned tourists... Where was I, and where are my pants!?

Plenty of Easter eggs for stalwarts of the games, and they aren't employed cheaply. Some of the best usage of them I have seen in a long time.

It's also funny. Apparently, it started out way funnier, but Cregger cut most of the jokes himself after test screenings. I think that's for the best.

Ultimately, this movie is as much a stripped-down love letter to the games as it is to the players.

"If you're gonna despise your audience, make it worth their while... but don't despise your audience." — ME!

THE GOOD:

It's fun, and that's all it really needed to be. It also has a bit of tragedy that manages to run underneath it. The comedy enhances this. All of the performances are solid; AUSTIN ABRAMS stands out not only as the main character but as the audience/player surrogate. It effectively recreates the reason this game series has people coming back to it for 30 years. In general, the presentation is good. Worth seeing in a theater.

THE BAD:

Not much, really. At first I thought it was maybe a bit too jokey, but then I remembered that R.E. was always a little goofy. It could perhaps have been a bit longer to let a few scenes live a little more. A couple of dodgy VFX shots.

SEE IT:

Yes! In a theater, and when it is time, when the spheres are aligned... STREAM HO(E)!!!!

DON'T SEE IT:

Sure. Go see VERITY or DIGGER... HAHAHAHAHAHA—FALL ON YOUR SWORD!