The Pissed Take - Frankenstein (2025)

FRANKENSTEIN -or- FRANKENFURTER MADE HIM A MAY'UN AKA Guillermo goes and del Toro's someone else's work... again.

Release Date 17Oct2025

Another pretty nothing, shame.

FRANKENSTEIN (2025) is the 433rd feature film featuring a version of MARY SHELLEY's 1818 novel, the creation, or her modern Prometheus-Victor. It adds much, while saying precious little. If you can't top a 207-year-old science fiction novel, don't spend 120 million.

NO SPOILERS (Though if you haven't read the book, maybe your ass should go to a library, slappy.)

Once upon a time in Vienna, a rich kid loses his mom birthing his lil bro, his dad is an asshole who likes the little bro more, the rich kid turns sad into mad then decides to break the laws of nature and defeat death. Mad scientifical f#ckery commences...

Criminently, does Guillermo del Toro find himself up his own arse with snowbird swiftness. Don't get me wrong, in general I can appreciate his work. When it comes to adaptations, however, his "make it my own" rarely sticks the landing. It does stick to the bowl. The movie is quite good looking—lavish even, much like CRIMSON PEAK, which was a similarly attractive yet vapid piece of Costco crumbcake.

There are plenty of deviations from the source material that present interesting ideas but never make them pay. New characters are introduced that really only serve to support these narrative changes, and we never really get to know them. What it does have lacks the nuance of the novel and instead hate-bangs its single real narrative nail with the "85 hammer" (Look it up, MF).

Finally, some decent performances (and one SUPERB performance), do battle with uneven tone, plotting, and some really funky CGI creatures. Did we really need the animals, Guillermo? Who's MF cousin did you hire!?

Note to writers—screenwriters especially: NEVER get so in love with a good idea that you forget to write a good story.

THE GOOD: JACOB ELORDI brings the creation from the books to life, easily outshining the design work that GDT emphasized. The best thing about this movie. The performances are quite good, but ultimately wasted by the abbreviated narrative. The production design is striking most of the time, until it gets in the way.

THE BAD: There is nothing here that screams "this deserved a 120 mil budget." Not a damn thing. It is terribly unsubtle, barging through its runtime like a drunken mill worker with the runs messing up his good clothes. Mia Goth, Christoph Waltz, and Felix Kammerer are wasted in roles that change Shelley's OG setup for cheap scratch-n-sniff pathos, and "my first book" philosophizing. Embarrassing CGI clearly put out by an overflow company last minute. A cheap and maudlin finale.

SEE IT!: Some people like to snort freshly ripped, pant-annihilating chili-farts. If you're gonna, you're gonna. Otherwise, STREAM NO.

DON'T SEE IT!: Good lad/lass. Now... GENERAL BOYCOTT! You still have the power of the purse MF, and you really don't need that AI-powered f#ck-a-whats-it anyway, you silly tart.