The Pissed Take - The Odyssey

THE ODYSSEY -or- THE ORDEAL: MYTH, MOR' REELZ AKAA well-acted, technical marvel, and a dour bore.

Release Date 17July2026

THE ODYSSEY is finally here! CHRISTOPHER NOLAN, one of the last few directors who people will still come see in theaters, has done it again! A big, loud, technically impressive, dour, and dry bore — that manages to hold some interest and intrigue for even the most jaded. I'll explain.

This film is based on a 3,000-year-old epic poem, also called THE ODYSSEY, by Greek poet HOMER, in the 8th century. Throughout 24 books, it details the experiences of ODYSSEUS — the king of Ithaca — as he attempts, over a decade, to get home after his ten years of war at Troy. Along the way, he encounters many perils, mythological beings and creatures, as well as some gods. Back home, Odysseus's wife PENELOPE and son TELEMACHUS have to deal with a group of suitors who want to force the queen to marry one of them. It is one of the oldest surviving works of literature still read today, having first been passed on orally, with many interpretations even before it moved onto the page. Of scholarly note, this movie also borrows a bit from THE AENEID, a poem from 19 BC, written by VIRGIL, that serves as kind of a side-quel to Homer's ILIAD. It is one of my very favorite stories.

NO SPOILERS (lol)

Once upon a time in Greece, at the end of the age of heroes, and just before the late Bronze Age collapse made shit uncool in the Mediterranean, some dudes went to war for ten years over some bullshit. It didn't go well, but they win after getting sharted out of a giant horse and tearing shit up. They head home, but all except poor, clever ODYSSEUS and his men make it back to their kingdoms, while he and his men bounce from island to island encountering 36 flavors of f#ckery.

Look, I can certainly appreciate the technical accomplishment of real sets, real locations, makeup effects, and in-camera effects — and blowing 250 million while not even trying to dress up the Viking longship as a bireme. What I can't get behind is the laziness in ideation that is a hallmark of Nolan's films. He always gets almost there, then at some point says fuck it. This is rewarded by people who seem to think that this is evidence of some deeper consideration. IT IS NOT. Though, if this jingles your jangles enough for a rubbie - god love ya. These films are about the tangible experience of sitting in front of a giant screen that covers your entire field of view while being assaulted by powerful speakers and a sound mix cleared by a guy who definitely has some inner ear damage.

Much gnashing of teeth about the "diverse" casting in this movie, which frankly isn't a problem. It neither works for nor against this movie. ANYONE complaining about this movie — an adaptation in a long line of adaptations — being W O K E, neither understands the colloquialism nor actually cares to.

WOKE is a century-old adjective from the African American community, showing up in written works and music, that means: BEING AWARE OF AND ATTENTIVE TO THE INSTITUTIONAL PREVALENCE OF PREJUDICE AND DISCRIMINATION.

ANYONE trying to make it anything else, without copping to their own participation, is not worth their next breath.

ELLIOT PAGE being in this for like six minutes doesn't break this movie. BOO-F#CKING-HOO-HOO, choke on a Yoo-hoo. LUPITA N'YONGO playing "golden-haired" Helen of Sparta (whose mom got raped by ZEUS as a swan) isn't ruining anything. Lupita is both fine as hell and a damn fine actress. She isn't diminishing a damn thing. ANY of the POC actors in this movie have zero to do with anything negative about this movie. The actors are acting their asses off — though some do not fare as well as others.

If any of this is a problem for you, it's not the movie. It is you.

This movie's issue is one common in director Nolan's recent well-monied output. IT'S SO MF BORING! Everything is damned dour and dry and humorless. I felt like I'd been on an odyssey... to the gastroenterologist. Everything that gave this thing flavor for millennia gutted for rough, uneven plotting, some murky IMAX camera work, and some truly head-scratching creative choices.

THE GOOD:

The movie is a TRULY impressive technical achievement! It looks good, sound is better than many releases. THIS is how movies used to be made... just without a camera the size of a mini-fridge that sounds like an old lawnmower and can only hold three minutes of film. The performances are very good — better than I expected. The cast is giving it their best. The CIRCE scene is the best in the movie! Brilliantly acted by SAMANTHA MORTON.

THE BAD:

Nolan's dour bullshit is still there. Just white toast... he's got the MF jam, but you don't get the jam. It's boring. STAN ALL YOU WANT, but how much heavy lifting is being done by you? Modern American English — Nolan consulted scholar EMILY WILSON's modernist translation of the text (alongside Rieu and Fagles, but Wilson's the one he keeps citing by name). It often threatened to become silly. I think they should have gone all in... Rushing through or condensing the journey — the fun stuff or meaningful stuff from the poem has been smushed together to make room for the needless additions tacked onto this movie. TACTILE REALISM / GROUNDED BLAH-BLAH — the problem with de-mythologizing anything (Batman, Athena, etc.) fundamentally mythological, surreal, or emotional is the incredible narrative friction you create. You end up with a mess you have to cheat through so your audience goes "Is this real or in their heads?" It's very rare that this trope actually works, despite being horribly overused.

SEE IT:

It is definitely an experience. If you have nothing to do — sure. Get a matinee.

DON'T SEE IT:

If you don't want to fight with yourself over whether you should run to the restroom or let fly. This movie WILL test you. Also, if you don't care for an incredibly expensive but confused adaptation of one of the world's most famous adventures, one that won't commit to going all the way with its source material or its changes.