Nick C. Goins Jr.
The Pissed Take - The Rings of Power
Release Date 01Sep2022
THE RINGS OF POWER -or- GREAT VALUE™ TOLKIEN *AKA* Even Netflix's MCU-style pitch to the Tolkien estate doesn't make this billion dollar dog-fart better.
I watched this first because I love the works of Tolkien, afterwards because I was morbidly curious as to how far Amazon shit the bed. Buckle up butter-cup, because I'm throwing extra sizzle on this fried cow-pie!
RINGS OF POWER IS SHITE! Overproduced, and underwritten shite!
TROP is meant to be a fantasy series, set in Tolkien's second age, about the forging of the titular rings of power, and the struggles/tragedies that occur around a dark force arising in a time of peace. The resemblance between Professor Tolkien's work and this expensive, ostentatious, embarrassingly pretentious, AliExpress knockoff is coincidental.
There has been much made by certain people about the addition of non-white performers as characters that Tolkien wrote specifically for the lighter hued. This is a non-issue for me - in general, especially amid all of the more legitimately execrable offenses by Amazon, the showrunners, that bald-headed shit-whisperer Bezos…
No spoilers, even though this desiccated dingle-berry is MF rotten. (You wanna talk about it, hit the comments)
It's pretty... Really, the production values are clearly where the dough was thrown. DURIN IV, DISA, and (when he's with the dwarven couple) ELROND. Their scenes together are the sole bright spot of this wanton assery. That's about it!
EVERYTHING ELSE IS HORRIBLE. Firing the Tolkien scholar - wrong. The entire reasoning behind allowing this production to proceed past the development stage is WRONG. The presentation of this world and it's characters are wrong.The ham-fisted reveals - wrong. Galadriel - WRONG! The compression of time and the fundamental cowardice that inspired it... wrong. You don't just have fuckwits who don't understand the text, they clearly don't care... and it's all over the screen. Watching this was painful, infuriating, and sad... Like:
Epoxying your balls to a washer before the spin cycle, Painful.
The orange colostomy bag not in prison with his spawn, Infuriating.
Lauren Bobo attempting anything resembling base-level wit, Sad.
DON'T INCENTIVIZE ANYMORE MEDIOCRITY.
DON'T SEE IT!
If you respect the works of Tolkien enough to not have one of the largest companies in the world wipe their inflamed asses with it.