The Pissed Take - Obi-Wan (Season 1)

Release Date 27May2022

OBI-WAN (season 1) -or- DOH-BI-WAN: An adventure in mediocrity *AKA* Let STAR WARS die...

I wanted OBI-WAN to be good, I gave it a rock solid shot... but it shit the pram in so many essential ways, that I can't help but dunk on it.

Obi-Wan - initially a miniseries, but has apparently been greenlit a 2nd season, is yet another inept and cheap mishandling of this 45 year old franchise.

Set 10 years after the end of REVENGE OF THE SITH, and 9 years before A NEW HOPE, this show has the titular character thrust back into the fray to save a kidnapped PRINCESS LEIA.

What in the bowels of Jehova is up with these weak AF writer's rooms!?

This show has an A and B story (Primary and secondary story lines) so thin they're probably held together by that paste you used in 2nd grade. SERIOUSLY, the plotting is bad... Skyline chili farts bad... White Castle farts bad? The entire shebang is predicated by established characters CONVENIENTLY acting in a way contrary to how they should given previous characterization, training, and experience.

The performances would rate decently if the writing was better, all of the performers (Legacy or otherwise) do their best with incredibly lazy and unfocused scripts - giving more natural performances than the prequels at least, though LEIA occasionally is too precocious. Gifted and talented my arse…

THEN MOSES SAID TO DISNEY: "LET MY STAR WARS GO".

A few chinless, mouth-breathing, shit-twizzlers had some awful things to say about one of the best things about this series: MOSES INGRAM and her portrayal of the 3rd sister, a Jedi inquisitor. One of the few actors to make an impression above the awful writing (The true villain of the show). It was her performance that kept me watching even though her through-line was obvious AF. I wish her all the best moving forward - and far past SW.

The production values are solid, though you can definitely see where they had to stretch the dollars in a few scenes (Security gate?). The direction, especially in regards to the fights is puzzling. You want to make your show look cheap AF - especially if a clearly defined visual language has been established? HANDHELD SHOTS and CAMERA SHAKE it is!!!

Seriously folks, if you do not understand that there is an entire library of visual language, music, and rhythm to action direction - HIRE A MF'n ACTION/FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER! Totally worth the extra coin to make certain your shots don't look like they were captured by coked out, leg-less newts.

There is something to be said about CANON and how to maintain fidelity to legacy story lines, settings, and characters. No change and it all gets stale, too much change and it loses its soul and distinct identity. The love is gone.

LET STAR WARS DIE.

Some things can't be infinitely stretched for dollars, and SW is showing the strain of over-capitalization. SW has "a thing", a sublimely simplistic formula - a not too secret sauce, that not many actually grasp enough to make actionable. Dave Filoni gets it, but he clearly isn't enough.

SEE IT: If you've fallen so far down the SW rabbit hole you've paid a fortune to a Māori Tohunga-tā-moko to tattoo a Star Wars logo on your taint with those sharp-assed sticks.

DON'T SEE IT: ...If you're gearing up for the fever of James Cameron's four AVATAR SEQUELS, you MF'n loser!