• Nick C. Goins Jr.

The Pissed Take - The Matrix: Resurrections

Release Date 22Dec2021


THE MATRIX: RESURRECTIONS -AKA- SO META: A CURE FOR CINEMATIC ERECTIONS *OR* I swear to ass... NO ONE learned their lesson!

This movie is bullshit.

I did not like this unnecessary, clumsy, conceitedly META, piece of ass-loaf sharted painfully by a constipated long-haul trucker.

No spoilers, even though I really want to spare people time better spent.

THE MATRIX: RESURRECTIONS is the 4th (and hopefully final) movie in The Matrix series started in 1999, followed by two bloated corpses of sequels that initially concluded a trilogy in 2003, and finally this superfluous sploot 18 years later.

This didn't need to be made, and the movie does nothing to justify its existence. The screenplay, the action (missing Yuen Woo-Ping), the plot, the technical presentation, all presented in a surprisingly slapdash and unsophisticated manner. It's as if the people, specifically the people involved in the previous films, totally forgot how they made the older movies.

I said this about Ghostbusters: Afterlife, the filmmakers either forgot or didn't know why (SPECIFICALLY, the first movie) it became a phenomenon. The whole thing seems to think its being clever while telegraphing nearly ALL of its plot points and "surprises", and not being any real fun.

This movie plays like an expensive version of one of THE ASYLUM's mockbusters.

SEE IT: If you're the kind of sick f#ck-muppet who likely masturbates with a belt sander. SERIOUSLY, this movie is bad... but, you do you boo.

DON'T SEE IT: If fate or circumstance has blessed you with the foresight to seek diversion elsewhere.

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