Nick C. Goins Jr.
The Pissed Take - Nope
NOPE -or- MAYBE... by visionary director Jordan Peele *AKA* A curious, occasionally surprising, oddity.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Nov 16
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Black Adam
BLACK ADAM -or- SUPER JOHNSON *AKA* Witness the white label version of a superhero movie! Huzzah! Excelsior... wait that's Marvel.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Nov 16
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Smile
SMILE -or- FROWN: This movie blows wildebeest *AKA* Maybe stretching an 11 min short film into 2 hours of lame jump-scares and B.S. isn't...
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Nov 15
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
WAKANDA FOREVER -or- BLACK PANTHER 2: ELECTRIC BOOHOOHOO AKABlak-Tech v Moist-Mex: The maudlin AF cut.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Nov 15
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - The Rings of Power
THE RINGS OF POWER -or- GREAT VALUE™ TOLKIEN *AKA* Even Netflix's MCU-style pitch to the Tolkien estate doesn't make this billion dollar...
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Nov 15
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Werewolf By Night
WEREWOLF BY NIGHT -or- Werewolf, alright! (Cough) *AKA* Good mouthwash for Hellraiser.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Nov 15
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Hellraiser (2022)
HELLRAISER -or- PINHEAD FOR PINHEADS *AKA* This configuration was lamentable.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Aug 7
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Prey
PREY -or- BEAUTY V THE BEAST *AKA* The first good Predator movie, after a list of rancid turdinations, since 1987.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Jul 24
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Thor: Love and Thunder
THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER -or- GORR: DESERVED A BETTER MOVIE *AKA* Taika's tepid tumescent tale.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Jul 24
- 3 min
The Pissed Take - Obi-Wan (Season 1)
OBI-WAN (season 1) -or- DOH-BI-WAN: An adventure in mediocrity *AKA* Let STAR WARS die...
I wanted OBI-WAN to be good, I gave it a shot...
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Jul 24
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Firestarter
FIRESTARTER or NONSTARTER *AKA* If "your own thing" is worse than the original, don't do "your own thing".
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- May 9
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS -or- DR STRANGE 2: ESOTERIC BOOGALOO *AKA* The MCU ain't samey with Sam Raimi.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Apr 6
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
Review of THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT -AKA- NIC CAGE is NIC CAGE in NIC CAGE: THE MOVIE *OR* The Completely bearable surprise...
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Apr 6
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Morbius
Review of MORBIUS -OR- BOREBIUS, the Boring Vampire *AKA* SONY corndogs the pooch, yet again.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Apr 6
- 3 min
The Pissed Take - The Batman
Review of THE BATMAN -or- IT'S RARELY SUNNY IN GOTHAM CITY *AKA* You really could have chopped nearly an hour off of this one…
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Apr 6
- 3 min
The Pissed Take - The Tragedy of Macbeth
Review of THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH -OR- THE TRIUMPH OF JOEL *AKA* Fair is foul, and this is not... foul. It's pretty MF fantastic.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Apr 6
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - The Book of Boba Fett (Season 1)
Review of THE BOOK OF BOBA FETT -OR- THE SIDELINED-ALORIAN *AKA* Well, THAT was disappointing…
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Apr 6
- 1 min
The Pissed Take - The Matrix: Resurrections
Review of THE MATRIX: RESURRECTIONS -AKA- SO META: A CURE FOR CINEMATIC ERECTIONS *OR* I swear to ass... NO ONE learned their lesson!
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Apr 6
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - The King's Man
Review of THE KING'S MAN -OR- ALL QUIET IN THE MOVIE THEATER *AKA* How to let down an uneven, but not horrible movie with shite marketing.
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Nick C. Goins Jr.
- Apr 6
- 2 min
The Pissed Take - Spider-Man: No Way Home
Review of SPIDERMAN: NO WAY HOME -AKA- Peter Parker poops a perfect prestidigitation *OR* Marvel and Sony: Oh lordy lordy, what to do...
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